Matchmaking
Avoid Asking These Questions!
Anyone who is professionally involved in matchmaking will have a very good idea about the sorts of things that will, in all likelihood, be seen negatively by a possible partner. The following ideas cannot possibly be a complete list of things to avoid but hopefully will flag up some of the major ones and encourage you to think very carefully about the content of your messages. Men are usually the ones to try to make the first contact so this page has been written with men (mainly) in mind. If you are a woman then it's still worth reading on as a lot of this advice crosses the gender divide!
Don't be tempted to ask your match for a photograph in your opening message. Why not? It signals that you are, perhaps, only interested in her looks and not her mind or personality. It says to her that, with you, looks come first and anything else second, which a lot of women find insulting. It's much better to wait, and try, to get to know each other by exchanging several messages first and wait for her to suggest an exchange of photos. Any good quality matchmaking service will suggest that you don't try to find out too much personal information too soon. You shouldn't push them for any contact details, other than those you have already, such as phone numbers or home addresses until you have taken the opportunity to see if you can get on over the internet. Remember that neither party is in any position to make demands this early in the relationship. You should always try to judge the mood and if you're in any doubt then don't ask the question! Usually, if someone wants you to know something then they'll make it fairly clear that it's fine to ask or they might even volunteer the information first.
Avoid any talk of a sexual nature. It's highly unlikely that your match will want to here about your previous relationships or how much of an athlete you think you are in the bedroom! Most women are totally unimpressed by this behavior and most men are terrified of it! This sort of behavior could end up with you being on the receiving end of the blocking function of your matchmaking service which blocks all future messages from you!
You should always try to be positive about yourself, and life in general, in your messages. Few people find that a negative approach to life is very attractive in others. Spending time with people that share a positive outlook on life is usually much more enjoyable. Obviously, because of the limitations of computers, many matchmaking services can come across as being a little clinical and so it's up to you to put your personality back into the service through your messages.
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