Single Men
Messaging Advice For Men & Women
There are plenty of guides for single men and women looking for a partner today. However, without going into too much detail, we felt we ought to highlight the most important points again.
Believing that you aren't attractive and that no-one would want to spend time with you is a sure fire way of making exactly that happen! Come on - be confident! It's unreasonable to expect a woman to take pity on you and rebuild your confidence - you have to do that for yourself first. You need to stop hankering after that last relationship that went wrong and stop bemoaning the fact that you're single. You need to be positive about life and yourself and you'll soon find yourself a partner. However, there is a small danger that single men can pester without realizing that they're doing it. Sending one message is enough - you don't need to send a new one every hour of your waking day. That sort of behavior won't get you any further and your dating service might consider it to be harassment. Pestering won't get you a response - well not one that you want to hear anyway!
So write one good message and stop there. If you haven't had a response after a week or so then you might want to send another one just to ask if she received the first one but then strictly leave it at that. If you don't hear back then either she's not interested or she's not collecting her messages. You must now assume that's the end on that contact and move on to the next. You might be lucky and get a response a bit later from her - maybe she's been on a three week vacation to Europe! In any event she won't want to see her inbox full of messages from you - makes you look a little desperate! Single men should never, ever appear desperate!
Your match has only got your profile and any message you send to get an impression of you. Don't write about anything sexual in nature, don't whine about past relationships, and don't push too hard to get personal information before she's ready - you'll only get the wrong response. Sorry - but there are quite a lot of 'don'ts' for single men! The do's are easier - do be polite, do show that you're interested in her, do be open, and do be happy to answer questions that she might have. You must ask questions too but remember it's not a job interview and let her know that she doesn't have to answer anything she doesn't want to.
Women are less likely to fall into 'desperate single men' mode but the same does hold good for women - don't make jokes about how useless/awful men are in general - you'll come over as 'just been dumped.' The male ego is a fragile thing, especially when they hear that women don't really need men anymore - over and over again! As is for men, it's a good idea if you can get a response back to a guy's message fairly quickly. It might be that you don't want to take things any further with him but at least he knows where he stands and shouldn't bother you again.
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